[Even after everything that came after- and oh boy, did so much come after, nothing topped this for how much it broke him inside. If he'd just listened and done nothing...well, the black rocks would have probably destroyed the entire kingdom, but he wouldn't have gone through the agony of losing his dad. He wouldn't wish that pain on anyone after going through it himself. ]
There was a snowstorm. A big one. It turned out it was a demon in another form but...none of us knew that at the time. I begged Rapunzel to help save my dad, but she had to protect her people. The royal guards thought I was attacking her and threw me back into the snow. By-by the time I got back home, Dad was completely encased in the amber. I was too late.
[And no help came for him. He was left alone, he chews his lip- because after this everything becomes far LESS understandable.]
So I decided I had to take this into my own hands. No one else was there to help me. I figured maybe if I could get to the sundrop flower- or what was left of it- I might be able to use it on the rocks. If Rapunzel couldn't help me, then why not go to the source? But it was well hidden, I only found out it was still around and the location by drugging the guards with a truth serum.
[Will nods again. He's still understanding, at least so far. He can definitely see where Varian's coming from, and Will might've done the same thing if it'd been his mom.
This, though... this is getting familiar, at least in a way.]
You figured that since the rocks were attracted to the sundrop's power, it'd maybe reverse the effects of the amber and free him?
[Varian keeps casting worried glances Will's way. He doesn't know if his friend will hit a point where he'll let the disgust and anger slip in. He wouldn't be surprised if he did- he's done some pretty awful things. But at the moment there's only understanding, and that...helps. ]
Exactly. I um...I convinced Rapunzel to help me find the flower- we had to use this journal that had the map of the catacombs under the kingdom to find it and she was the only one who could get at it, being the princess and all. It was treason...to-to take the book, but she did it anyway. We got our way through and once I got to the flower I just...took it. I told her that I'd used her and escaped before the guards could find me. I knew she'd be in so much trouble and I just...didn't care.
[He was so focused on saving his dad that everything and everyone else just fell into the background. They were... expendable. ]
It didn't matter. The flower was dead. It did nothing. I knew I had to go to the only source of the sundrop's power that was left. And that was Rapunzel herself.
[Will continues to be understanding. He can see Varian's logic. He can imagine that his friend must've been both desperate and angry. Feelings that only got worse with that setback, at least as far as he can guess.]
She wanted to help you, even if it meant treason. I can certainly respect that.
[Honestly, he'd probably do the same thing she did. That said, Will can see that Varian is getting a little nervous.]
...She's a good person. Better than I could ever be.
[Though his tone is sad, it's not pitying- he's not looking for reassurance. It's a plain statement of fact. ]
I didn't know that then, though. I thought she wouldn't help me, so I...did something really terrible to make her come to me. I drugged Ruddiger with a serum to make him huge and set him on the capital city. While the guards were distracted with him, I... I snuck inside the castle and kidnapped the Queen. I knew Rapunzel would come to save her mother and she did.
[Because of course she did. She was a better person than him. Varian exhales slowly.]
I had an army of automatons I'd built ready for what few people were left after Ruddiger to fight them off, so only Rapunzel and the King got into my home. I managed to get the jump on them and trapped them with my alchemy. I... to make Rapunzel help me, I dropped the amber solution near her mother, to- if she didn't help me, her mother would have faced the same fate as my father.
[He grimaces, his shoulders tense like he's trying to recoil into himself.]
[Will won't argue it. Mostly because he knows, instinctively, it'd be inappropriate to do so right now.
Gods, but this is definitely lining up with things Nico has done before. It's not exact, of course not. Yet, his boyfriend has certainly done things he's lived to regret later because of his misplaced anger and a terrible person guiding him down a dark, selfish path. The son of Apollo looks... sad, but remains understanding. Empathetic. This is so much for one person to bear on their shoulders.
It's only going to get worse, too. He can see it in Varian's expression. His tone is gentle.]
[Varian casts a worried glance at Will, trying to judge his reaction. He's still with him, though, and that...helps. His friend hasn't abandoned him yet and that means the world. He closes his eyes, taking a moment to gather himself before continuing. ]
It didn't work. Her hair did nothing to the amber. I- I didn't know why. I was freaking out over that when Rapunzel and her parents escaped. I saw them hugging each other, just her together with her family and I snapped. I got into one of my robots and attacked them. I- [he looks at his hands again] I caught hold of the Queen and Rapunzel's best friend with it. I- I told her if I couldn't get a happy ending, then neither could she and started crushing them to death.
[He came SO CLOSE to ending the lives of two decent, innocent people and it makes him feel sick.]
Rapunzel stopped me, she accidentally figured out a connection with the rocks and used them against me. I- I'm glad she did. At least no one died. I was sent to prison where I stayed for a year. My uh...cellmate was an insurgent and he convinced me to help us escape and join his people. So that's what I did- when Rapunzel was away trying to understand her connection with the rocks, we escaped. One of his people had magic to wipe the memory of the King and Queen and I-I stepped in to control them, pretending I was their advisor- getting them to force their people into mines to gather minerals I needed.
[So let's add attempted murder and slave labour to his list of crimes, fun. He winces.]
I wanted to erase everyone's memories. To-to just...remove everything I'd ever done. I tried to take a stupid, easy way out.
[Gods above, Varian. Will can't just sit here with his friend in distress like this. As horrible as it all is, the older teen has been trying to atone for it. To make things right, even if it never will be. The demigod moves to sit closer to Varian, though he'll stop if it's unwanted, and holds out his hand.]
You don't have to, but... if you want, you can squeeze my hand when it hurts. I'm made of stern stuff, so don't worry about hurting me.
[He smiles a little at him.]
Or you can just hold it so you know I'm still with you.
[Varian was expecting all kinds of reactions from Will- mostly he was expecting to be called out, abandoned. It's never happened yet, people here have been astoundingly forgiving, but he expects it to happen ONE day.
He should have known better when it came to Will.
Still, he stares at the hand for a moment eyebrows raised like instead his friend grew another head on it. After a few more moments of confused uncertainty, he reaches out to take the proffered hand. ]
Um...thanks. It's- nearly done.
[Thank god.]
Before I could complete my compound, Rapuznel came home. It- it was while we were dealing with her that Andrew- he was my cellmate- let slip they- they never planned on following my plan. They were gonna use my compound to raze Corona to the ground. I- mass murder was NOT what I'd signed up for so I...turned against them. I finally decided to get on the right side of history.
[It took too long to get there and he knows it, but get there he did. ]
I um. I helped Rapunzel get onto the airship they were gonna use to drop the compound from. The plan was for me to neutralise it so it couldn't hurt anyone, but they caught us. Andrew tried to throw me off the edge of the ship- traitors to his cause paid with their lives, apparently. But I was saved and his people bailed- but not without damaging the ship beyond repair first.
[His hand tightens a little in Will's nervous, unsettled. No one has ever taken this part well. ]
I knew if the ship crashed, it would explode. But- but if I could use the compound under the burners it could get the ship high enough above the city before it exploded so no one got hurt. I- I told Rapunzel to get off the ship, to just let me do it. I wanted to fix the mess I made. And I- I didn't feel like I had anything left to live for...after everything.
[He was so very done. All he'd done for that last year was cause massive pain and damage to innocent people. He had nothing left anymore. A princess who the people were relying on sure trumped a convict who'd tried to destroy their kingdom, he thought. ]
Of course, Rapunzel wouldn't let me do that. She got me off the ship and used the magic of the sundrop to protect her when the ship exploded. Everyone survived it. She...on her journey out into the world, she'd figured out how to use her abilities to help my father. She got him out and he was...fine. I spent the rest of my days there doing everything I could to help the kingdom...her to try and make up for everything I'd done. Just...even out the balance, I guess. Until I got dragged here, anyway.
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no subject
[Even after everything that came after- and oh boy, did so much come after, nothing topped this for how much it broke him inside. If he'd just listened and done nothing...well, the black rocks would have probably destroyed the entire kingdom, but he wouldn't have gone through the agony of losing his dad. He wouldn't wish that pain on anyone after going through it himself. ]
There was a snowstorm. A big one. It turned out it was a demon in another form but...none of us knew that at the time. I begged Rapunzel to help save my dad, but she had to protect her people. The royal guards thought I was attacking her and threw me back into the snow. By-by the time I got back home, Dad was completely encased in the amber. I was too late.
[And no help came for him. He was left alone, he chews his lip- because after this everything becomes far LESS understandable.]
So I decided I had to take this into my own hands. No one else was there to help me. I figured maybe if I could get to the sundrop flower- or what was left of it- I might be able to use it on the rocks. If Rapunzel couldn't help me, then why not go to the source? But it was well hidden, I only found out it was still around and the location by drugging the guards with a truth serum.
no subject
This, though... this is getting familiar, at least in a way.]
You figured that since the rocks were attracted to the sundrop's power, it'd maybe reverse the effects of the amber and free him?
no subject
Exactly. I um...I convinced Rapunzel to help me find the flower- we had to use this journal that had the map of the catacombs under the kingdom to find it and she was the only one who could get at it, being the princess and all. It was treason...to-to take the book, but she did it anyway. We got our way through and once I got to the flower I just...took it. I told her that I'd used her and escaped before the guards could find me. I knew she'd be in so much trouble and I just...didn't care.
[He was so focused on saving his dad that everything and everyone else just fell into the background. They were... expendable. ]
It didn't matter. The flower was dead. It did nothing. I knew I had to go to the only source of the sundrop's power that was left. And that was Rapunzel herself.
no subject
She wanted to help you, even if it meant treason. I can certainly respect that.
[Honestly, he'd probably do the same thing she did. That said, Will can see that Varian is getting a little nervous.]
I'm still here with you.
no subject
[Though his tone is sad, it's not pitying- he's not looking for reassurance. It's a plain statement of fact. ]
I didn't know that then, though. I thought she wouldn't help me, so I...did something really terrible to make her come to me. I drugged Ruddiger with a serum to make him huge and set him on the capital city. While the guards were distracted with him, I... I snuck inside the castle and kidnapped the Queen. I knew Rapunzel would come to save her mother and she did.
[Because of course she did. She was a better person than him. Varian exhales slowly.]
I had an army of automatons I'd built ready for what few people were left after Ruddiger to fight them off, so only Rapunzel and the King got into my home. I managed to get the jump on them and trapped them with my alchemy. I... to make Rapunzel help me, I dropped the amber solution near her mother, to- if she didn't help me, her mother would have faced the same fate as my father.
[He grimaces, his shoulders tense like he's trying to recoil into himself.]
I thought that was fair.
no subject
Gods, but this is definitely lining up with things Nico has done before. It's not exact, of course not. Yet, his boyfriend has certainly done things he's lived to regret later because of his misplaced anger and a terrible person guiding him down a dark, selfish path. The son of Apollo looks... sad, but remains understanding. Empathetic. This is so much for one person to bear on their shoulders.
It's only going to get worse, too. He can see it in Varian's expression. His tone is gentle.]
What happened next?
no subject
It didn't work. Her hair did nothing to the amber. I- I didn't know why. I was freaking out over that when Rapunzel and her parents escaped. I saw them hugging each other, just her together with her family and I snapped. I got into one of my robots and attacked them. I- [he looks at his hands again] I caught hold of the Queen and Rapunzel's best friend with it. I- I told her if I couldn't get a happy ending, then neither could she and started crushing them to death.
[He came SO CLOSE to ending the lives of two decent, innocent people and it makes him feel sick.]
Rapunzel stopped me, she accidentally figured out a connection with the rocks and used them against me. I- I'm glad she did. At least no one died. I was sent to prison where I stayed for a year. My uh...cellmate was an insurgent and he convinced me to help us escape and join his people. So that's what I did- when Rapunzel was away trying to understand her connection with the rocks, we escaped. One of his people had magic to wipe the memory of the King and Queen and I-I stepped in to control them, pretending I was their advisor- getting them to force their people into mines to gather minerals I needed.
[So let's add attempted murder and slave labour to his list of crimes, fun. He winces.]
I wanted to erase everyone's memories. To-to just...remove everything I'd ever done. I tried to take a stupid, easy way out.
no subject
You don't have to, but... if you want, you can squeeze my hand when it hurts. I'm made of stern stuff, so don't worry about hurting me.
[He smiles a little at him.]
Or you can just hold it so you know I'm still with you.
cw: sucidal ideation
He should have known better when it came to Will.
Still, he stares at the hand for a moment eyebrows raised like instead his friend grew another head on it. After a few more moments of confused uncertainty, he reaches out to take the proffered hand. ]
Um...thanks. It's- nearly done.
[Thank god.]
Before I could complete my compound, Rapuznel came home. It- it was while we were dealing with her that Andrew- he was my cellmate- let slip they- they never planned on following my plan. They were gonna use my compound to raze Corona to the ground. I- mass murder was NOT what I'd signed up for so I...turned against them. I finally decided to get on the right side of history.
[It took too long to get there and he knows it, but get there he did. ]
I um. I helped Rapunzel get onto the airship they were gonna use to drop the compound from. The plan was for me to neutralise it so it couldn't hurt anyone, but they caught us. Andrew tried to throw me off the edge of the ship- traitors to his cause paid with their lives, apparently. But I was saved and his people bailed- but not without damaging the ship beyond repair first.
[His hand tightens a little in Will's nervous, unsettled. No one has ever taken this part well. ]
I knew if the ship crashed, it would explode. But- but if I could use the compound under the burners it could get the ship high enough above the city before it exploded so no one got hurt. I- I told Rapunzel to get off the ship, to just let me do it. I wanted to fix the mess I made. And I- I didn't feel like I had anything left to live for...after everything.
[He was so very done. All he'd done for that last year was cause massive pain and damage to innocent people. He had nothing left anymore. A princess who the people were relying on sure trumped a convict who'd tried to destroy their kingdom, he thought. ]
Of course, Rapunzel wouldn't let me do that. She got me off the ship and used the magic of the sundrop to protect her when the ship exploded. Everyone survived it. She...on her journey out into the world, she'd figured out how to use her abilities to help my father. She got him out and he was...fine. I spent the rest of my days there doing everything I could to help the kingdom...her to try and make up for everything I'd done. Just...even out the balance, I guess. Until I got dragged here, anyway.